Colour Schemes - What's Wrong with Orange

Now I'm not going to recount the entire discussion that has lead up to this question, but in summary Imogen has been trying to chose a colour scheme for the wedding and apparently I am not being very helpful.

Now as a boy I see in 8 bit colour, so like windows 3.1 I see 16 colours. Imogen on the otherhand is cursed with a Y Cromason and therefore is a girl. As such she sees in 256million colours. This is a brilliant design feature in some cercmstance like.......well......I'm sure there are some, but it does mean that "white" is not a straight forward colour scheme: "White? Do you mean ivory or brilliant, cream, champagne, snowflake...." the list goes on.

Added to this, apparently there are all sorts of wedding rules related to the colours such as:

• The grooms waistcoat should match the bestmans tie, and visa versa
• The bridesmades dresses and the best mans tie should be coordinated
• The ties and waistcoats should be either contrasting or matching
• The brides bouquet should match the mothers knickers
  
• the colour of the car should be 3 shades of green differnet from the colour of the cake

(I might have made one or two of those up).

Anyway, I came clean with Imogen and told her that completely honestly, I havn't a clue what all these mean, I can't see the difference between white and ivory and I though champagne was drunk at the wedding not worn. I therefore said I'd leave all this to her to choise jsut provided I could have oranage somewhere in my outfit.

Now this I thought was quite reasonable but no, apparently even this little input into the colour is a step too far as orange just doesn't go with anything.

"But I like orange" I pleaded.
"But what will it go with? "
"I'm not sure, I hadn't thought it through that far"
"Well you shoudl have, it jsut won't work"
"Yes it will, I tell you what, I'll have an orange waistcoat, that way I can close my jacket and hide it if its too bright."
"Oh now, that won't work because then the best man wil have to have an oranage tie and how am I supposed to make the bridges maids match an orange tie.......and then I'll have to have oraneg flowers in my bouquet........and I don't even know if there are any oranage flowers and....."

well, she rattled on like this for a while before she hyperventalated and had to sit down. When she got her breath back she stated quite categorically
"You are NOT having oranage"

Well, you might as well have waved a red rag in my face as state the law like that!!
"Oh yes I am, in fact I wasn't really that bothered what was orange before, but now I want an oranage waistcoat and that is that"

So I have now trackdown and order my oranage waistcoat from Fantasy Waistcoats. And we have agreed that I can wear it and the bridesmaids and the best man can be coordinated but I will be doing my own thing.......

Oh, and apparently the wedding photos will be in black and white.